25 December 2009

Hotath Ekdin....

click to enlarge

20 November 2009

Rain

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


Long since I've lost that diary...
I had many things to say..
many words not spoken yet ..
Many wishes went ashtray.

Some memories came floating by...
some faces smiled at me
Such warmth in those friendly eyes...
Lost, but today I can see.

Now sitting at the window,
Raindrops hitting the pane...
Stretched my palms to feel the drops,
Lost in Boulevard of memory lane.

The dreams are gone...those days are done...
My eyes moisten...piled up frost..
one more raindrop on my hand...
I....My childhood lost...

05 November 2009

...and the epitaph....

Pic. Courtesy: Internet



I'm lost ...
take me home...
chain me up...
dont let me roam..


I'm diseased....
dont kill me..
just tie me up..
I'm blind...I can't see..

Please dig a pit...
when i'm dead
in your backyard..
dont let me fade..

I'll be there..
rotten to silence...
let this be my epitaph..
An epitome of violence.




Peace,
your diseased dog.

09 October 2009

An award....


“When accepting this auspicious award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the misguided soul who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to the said person so everyone knows she/he is real. Choose a minimumof seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!”


Thanks to Rajlakshmi...for giving me this wonderful award...I really feel honored!!! :-P

Now ..the funny part of it....10 Honest things.....but before I start off...i need to say the most honest thing.."I'm rarely very Honest...so i WILL NOT take any responsibility of "whatever honest confession I make over here....
So..here I go...

1. I shove in a lot of "........" while i write...i dont really know why i do that...

2. I am crazy about little hearts ...and Nirvana, Beatles and Evanescence....a yes..books...I can spend an entire day in a book shop... :-)

3. I love changing topics all of a sudden....I swing from Kafka to Space-Time Continuum...from RabindraSangeet to Kurt Cobain....from "crush" to CPM...it is always very difficult to keep up with me.... :-P

4. I love Nature...specially the himalayas...They call me all the time....

5. I love to freak out people on road...

6. I am a happy person...but i dont know why i love to write on dark and gloomy stuffs...maybe someone deep inside manifests himself through my writings...

7. I love to sit on terrace and watch the stars and the city lights...the wonderful ambiance of shadows makes me really high....

8. I dont mind people calling me "not-tall"....but it really freaks me out...when people calls me "nerd"...(which i'm not..)...

9. I love walking a lot...

10. I want to die in the mountains....himalaya is my heaven....


Now...the next stage...My awards....

LGL : an amazing writer....has the capabilities to make a person "dazed"...by her writings..
Ishita: silent poet...the dame of blah.. ;-)
Ritayan: .. a dream weaver...
Rajkashmi: (an award back to you..) a painter of words..
Riasat: the poet of the Fall
Chriz: The most-humorous person ON earth...
and
Tan: The dark Poetess who makes you realizes what life is......


Peace,
Akash.

08 October 2009

Black...

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


With every blink of an eye...

darkness draws closer...

but surrenders itself to light..

as i open my eyes again...

as if a game of hide and seek...

light and darkness plays with me...

But, when darkness stays for long...

what if the darkness wins the game...

and surrounds me forever...

what if i close my eyes...and drown in the darkness...

what if i sleep......forever?



Silence....

24 September 2009

Emancipation Of My Dream..

Pic. Courtesy: Internet



These brushstrokes on the canvas..
makes a dream...makes a face
a face I knew long time ago..
Its gone now...and its my disgrace.
Maybe she is gone...
maybe she is gone too far..
Now...she wont sacrifice for me..
The dream left behind a scar..

Never lost her face from my canvas
Maybe they had turn grey and old..
Its still the face I owe...
A face for which my soul was sold..

But...now its time to let it go.
Shut my eyes..and kill my scream...
I let it go...I let you go...
The emancipation Of my dream.

The Homeward Journey..

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


Here I go...
With hopes to see you again...
for my homeward journey.
withered and in pain.

Fortunes turned upside down..
Resurrecting another past...
Gaurdian of my selfrighteousness..
My homeward journey till the last ...

Truth was a lie...
A castle of Sand before the tide.
sabotaging your trust in me..
There is no place for me to hide.

Tomorrow...I'll be gone
for a peaceful sleep...
You can live and...
keep my forsaken memories...buried deep.

29 August 2009

My way to Nevaeh....

As I walked down the silent road..
The trees cast their shadows on me...
The Snowflakes falls at my feet
Its dark ahead....Darkness is all I see.

Theres no other soul beside me..
I'll have to walk there all alone...
I went far and far deep in dark,
Far away from my home.

I walked past the debris of my soul,
Broken, tattered in the war
My soul so worn out,my eyes blind
Now I know, I'm not too far.

As I arrive to the place
The frost fast pilling up my lashes...
I've shut my memories in an abyss...
They no longer haunts or flashes...

I remember some faces now...
I remember some words told...
Now that I've reached my Nevaeh..
I stretch out my hand for him to hold.

I know there wont be any prayers...
No one will shed a bit of tears....
While I rest there in peace...
In Nevaeh ...cold and without fear.



05 August 2009

To Someone, With Love

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


Goodbye to you...I'm gone for good..
you never asked me to stay back...
I was upset...I wasn't rude...
Love??? Thats all....thats all you lack.

Whats the use of 'sorry' now??
Whatever broken is gone...
I wouldn't ask...why or how??
Your wishes...now its all done.

As I walk out of sight..
Leaving the door ajar..
I wish you never loose your light...
By this time...I'd be gone to far.

14 July 2009

Spring is gone....

Pic. Courtesy: Internet



I'm sorry...I let you go..
I can't stop my fall..
Since then ..I've never lost myself...
But I've always..felt so small...

Words cost a lot to me..
Silence was there for free...
Wasted tears...roll down my eyes..
I'm not ....what I used to be...

Your listless eyes..told many words..
You were always very quiet
I'm sorry...I've never understood you..
And I hate myself..when I exploit...

And now when you're gone too far..
and lost somewhere in the crowd...
though you're here no more...
you're presence cries out so loud.

The sands of time has flown away...
I couldn't even say Goodbye...
But I promise ...I'll stay for you....
till the day...i fly away to the sky!!!!


08 June 2009

Apology....

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


You smiled and waved goodbye...
And flew away in the dark black sky...
Steamless Coffee...beans of dreams...
Hanging from paranoia...cries and screams..
Letters from sand...washed by waves...
one smile..one rose...takes to grave...
One light in dark...raises eyes...
One heart burnt and smoked to sky..
I wont ask you...its all right..
Its cool with me...you blind my sight!!!
Dont look back...you dont have to see..
You never promised...You'll be with me...
Ain't it over...ain't you gone???
its always sunset....its always dawn...
The light grows dimmer...and slowly fades...
Its black and white now....no more shades...
Go away and live your life...
l will leave now...with my knife!!!!
How much i write...you'll still be you...
What you've done...i can't undo....
Theres no light...theres still no hope...
I've two choice now...dope or rope!!!!

29 May 2009

Star Gazing

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


There was one Star...just one star today.
She would've gone...but I asked her to stay.
A lifeless Paper...a purple blue eye...
I gazed and gazed ... at the one star in the sky.

She said "No"... she wont stay for long....
She sat there...singing a quiet song...
I was tired of her...and I asked her to leave...
She took the lifeless paper.... and rolled it up her sleeve(?!?!?).

She asked me...How long I've been dead,
I just smiled and nod my silly head.
She walked passed me to the edge of the terrace.
Her coy smile, purple blue gaze...brightened up her face.

"You never knew...you were dead??"
"No...but I had a strange feeling", I said.
She smiled, "Now you know...you're there no more"
I nodded ....my gaze fixed upon the floor.

She showed me that one star, and said it was 'me' .
Being dead...Being gone...now the truth I could see...
"You've to shine there all alone....cos everyone is sore"
Aha!! but then....Am I really dead??? Or maybe I'm just a bore!!!


22 May 2009

De Profundis Clamavit Ad Te Domine

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


With drowsy steps, he moved towards...
the dilapidated house of gods...
Soaked in Blood, he looked behind,
Rigor calmy took over his mind.

He creaked open the door of Gold,
His eyes were blue....breath so cold,
He moved to the alter, for the sacrifice....
to wash his self from sinful vice.

He knelt down and bowed his head,
tears that touched the ground turned red.
Those shapeless souls heard him pray....
"De Profundis Clamavit Ad Te Domine..."


He felt more souls...looked down at him,
He felt the light from candles dim...
The shadows concert in his shade....
He drew out the blood strewn blade.

He pushed the blade, further deep...
and prayed to fall in a dreamless sleep...
The gushing sound.... lost in rain outside...
The house of gods...the place to hide!!!!

He raised his head to face the Lord..
to beg for peace..he found no word....
Then he dropped....cold and grey....
"De Profundis Clamavit Ad Te Domine"!!!

11 May 2009

DOPED

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


Have you tried to write a poem when you are stoned like anything and can't even move your fingers properly???? I found a piece of paper in my room....in which an absurd poem was scribbled in a very 'high-unstable' handwriting.....and everyone said ..that i was the one who wrote it....but i actually dont remember doinh anything of that sort....maybe i wasnt in the state of remembering things that happened at that particular time....whatever here it is....and i call it "DOPED"...cos that was the state of the poet when he wrote it.....


Calm down...
Came down...
Fuck you...
Dont frown!!

Why hope???
High hope...
fuck me...
Die dope.!!

I sad...
die sad...
once more..
Fuck mad!!!

Show lie..
sow lie...
fuck me...
Goodbye!!!

i found this poem uncannily meaningful....is it so...or maybe i'm still stoned?????
whatever it might be...i wont mind geeting doped again if anyone promises me...that i'm gonna write similar stuffs....

P.S. This doping incident happened a long time ago....so people...please dont ask me anything about dope!!!!!!

24 April 2009

Three Poems...and a realisation....

Quite a few days ago...I wrote 3 poems...poems in bangla..after a long time...and I got so excited about it...that i wrote the poems in Bangla Font(thanks to Avro Keyboard)...and made a jpeg file out of it...after it was done... i praised myself and went to sleep....since then i wrote nothing in bangla...The frightening realisation that i had recently...that i am losing my "bangla" self...made me read sharat chandra vigorously... even during my semester..and hence i think the bengali inside me survived..But now..Somewhere in my mind...someone still shouts..."I dont want to survive as a BONG....i want to live as a Bangali"....so i thought of "publishing" those three poems..in my blog...

Theres no certain reason for me to do this...its a random wish born due to homesickness...thank you for patiently reading this introduction..though there was no need of it...whatever...... i guess..readers will have to work a bit in order to reach those three poems...

Click on the picture...and i presume...the hyperlink will lead you to the larger version of the file....sorry i found no other way to embedd these pictures...

19 April 2009

@#@# WTF!! @#$$@$

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


Look at me...
Look what I've become...
An optimist...
or an self-satisfied scum...

Smiling...
with blank cheque in my hand...
Smiling though....
knowing..that i'm sinking in quicksand....

Hello...can anyone hear me???
Am i audible???
Pull me up if you please...
dont let me rot in hell..

Look at the sky once...
Check out the twinkling of the stars...
Funny...eh!!?? Its just a ball of gas...
This time...I've gone...a bit too far...

I am sorry...this one is not so good...
As if... I write nice stuff
Please..please...tell me..I write nice...
I'd love to see you bluff!!!!

16 April 2009

Childhood

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


I danced in the rain...that first day...
made a paper boat and sailed it away..
the water flowed to a distant blue bay...
At the horizon...i see my white sail...sway!!!!

I wrote a poem...that first day...
the scorching sun..in some mid-may...
Some memories...on the bed I lay...
Silent thoughts...i heard a voice say....

I walked in the rain...that first day...
raindrops fell....from the sky so grey...
smoke streamed coffee...and a filled ashtray...
those days are gone....i wish...they'd stay!!!

Someday...

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


You had promised...someday..we'll together..
go to that horizon...where the earth kisses the sky...
one day..we will run wild with glee..
in the valley of love...
you had promised..we will walk..hand in hand...
at the seashore...in the dusk...
someday..we'll laugh together...
till tears roll out our eyes...
someday...we'll plant a tree togther..
which will yield crimson flowers in spring...
You had promised, you'll call me...
and we'll fight over..every silly things...
You had promised...someday..we'll sit on the terrace...
with the sky above us...and count the stars...
you had promised...you'll wipe off my tears...and laugh with me...
Someday....you had promised...we shall always be together....
Till death takes us apart...
Someday...i waited for you...
time stopped by and waited with me...
and it passed..atlast.....
till the spring was over...and winter came...
and the tree we planted died....
and i waited....till death..took me apart!!!!

Forsaken....

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


I've seen in the darkness...I've seen in the light...
the same way...as of an infant's sight...
A poisoned body and a wounded mind...
Unaccepted rage...angel blind...

The soul lingers about...ever forsaken...
frozen and inanimate...long silence unbroken..
Long lost hopes....distrust prevails...
I'm sorry...hatred and grudge still dwells..

Drift away...the memories too sour...
The garden is dead...with one live flower...
When Spring came..one flower none plucks...
Go away..please....assumptions fucks...!!!!

Some stupid verse...I conjure in hate...
I say sorry....better never than late...
They speak of you...the sahdows talk to me...
The forsaken flowers..the only thing I see...

Man...

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


Idiocy was in his death....
Idiocy was in his birth...
Dont think his Idiocy...
to be some sacrocantic mirth...

Start thinking of someone else...
Jeopardizing his soul and self...
leaving every possession he has...
hidden...sacred in the highest shelf...

Like some property he inherits...
An overflown account in bank...
With silver spoon shoved in his mouth...
Society gives him..a highest rank!!!!

His Feet doesn't touch the land...
his overweight body floats in air...
He steals and rapes and kills...
He redefines what is fair!!!!

Blood Rose

Pic. Courtesy: Internet

Silent Prayers within...silent words never spoken...
silent lies buried deep...silent desires never taken...
Hope mustering ...beneath the ages of time...
words don't come ...expressions mime...
Blood Rose...i give thee...the thorns do prick....
Love is dead...yet...it was just another trick!!!!

Sitting on a cloud...I count as many stars...
Some faces light up...near but yet so far...
Some poems burns away...some stays there for long....
I write an obituary...or maybe its a song...
Blood Rose...I give thee...smeared with tears i cry...
Love is dead...in vain..the lovers die....

The candle...the flickering flame...
the stigma...the unerasable blame...
Some day...these poems will burn..and turn to ash....
or used to cocoon some merciless hash...
Blood Rose ...i give thee...silent words to speak again....
I'm sorry...you were late...I'd long ago..died in vain!!!!

09 February 2009

Poison Nectar

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


I looked out of the window...
the green leaves had dried...
turned yellow with age...
slowly and sadly she died...

An hour-glass prisoner...
nothing to do but weep.
bounded by ropes of words,
sunk further and further deep.

In this fucked up brain of mine..
I don't know, what to do..
tears...they blind my eyes...
I'd ask the shadows..."who are you??"

It was me who gave you the poison nectar...
Sorry...i had to let you go...
I'll wait for you till eternity...
You can sleep now...cold..sound and slow.



02 February 2009

Lets....

Pic. Courtesy: Internet


He stood there...waiting at the door..
His hairs ruffled....eyes fixed upon the floor...
Long since had the blood...all drained out of him...
He is desperate to live...a voice in his head cries and screams...

A glint of hope in his eyes...
His dreams to get lost in skies...
Before his body and his soul dies...
No Sympathy...all loves are lies...

He dragged his way...his sight is gone...
No light for him...no dusk....no dawn...
He sadly wept...in silent prayers...
for emancipation from these wistful slayers...

From aged shackles of ageing shame...
Both body and soul..on naked flames..
No you...no me...to be blamed...
Let him Die....lets end this Game!!!!!